


Why Do You Fill My Sorrow?

by gustinobrien



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-13
Updated: 2013-03-13
Packaged: 2017-12-05 04:30:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/718906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gustinobrien/pseuds/gustinobrien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The real reason why, Sebastian Smythe, doesn't do relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Do You Fill My Sorrow?

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted something with a sad ending and this happened. I'm a big softy and it made me cry while writing but it's not super angsty.

Sebastian had been hurt a long time ago. Maybe that was why he was the way he was now. Maybe it was the reason he didn’t do relationships.

When he met Cooper Anderson, things started to change.

The way Cooper looked at Sebastian always made him feel bubbly. So did the way he kissed his cheek hello or held his hand when they were watching movies together.

The problem was, Cooper was just a friend.

Cooper had a girlfriend.

They had met one day when Sebastian went looking for Blaine. His stupid crush may have gotten out of hand but Sebastian thought he was in love with Blaine, he thought he needed Blaine. But Blaine didn’t want him.

Just like everyone else.

Cooper had answered the door wearing only a pair of loose sweat pants. He had looked Bas up and down—he hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before, so his hair in disarray and smelling of alcohol—and had brought him inside, explaining that Blaine had gone to New York to see Kurt.

Which was what had made Seb fall to pieces.

Coop had picked him up and let him cry against him until he fell asleep.

Cooper had heard Blaine’s side of the story but he always felt a little sorry for Sebastian. Of course, he was ridiculously protective of his little brother, but he knew Kurt was the only one for Blaine but he knew that it must hurt for this boy to be so hung up on Blaine, knowing it wasn’t going to go anywhere. So he had looked after him, had held him and washed him when Sebastian couldn’t stand on his own from his exhaustion and alcohol.

The next morning Sebastian had woken up, his head pounding, and had been confused about why he was being held by a stranger. He had slipped out of the bed trying to be as quite as he could manage but Cooper had woken up.

“How you feeling?” Cooper had asked, sitting up against the headboard.

“Um…fine..but I’ve, uhh, gotta go.”

And Sebastian had run out of the house remembering the night before and hating himself for it.

…

It wasn’t until a week later that they saw each other again. Sebastian went searching for a new cafe, not wanting to risk running into Blaine at the Lima Bean. He took a table in a corner of the shop that was hidden away, but it was no use because none other than Cooper Anderson was sitting at the table by the door.

Cooper didn’t know if it was a good idea to go sit with Seb, but he was never really one for doing what he should do. So he sat with him. They talked, awkward at first, but slowly they started to get along, Seb making Cooper’s cheeks redden and Cooper making Sebastian laugh at his awful accents.

They started hanging out after that, at first just getting coffee together, then going to movies. Sometimes Cooper would drag Sebastian through the mall shopping. It was always fun being around Cooper; Sebastian hadn’t smiled and laughed so much in his life. He wasn’t sure what it was about Cooper that made him like him so much, but the fact that he was dumb and ridiculous and really nice to look at probably had something to do with it.

Sebastian wasn’t sure if he liked him or not, but it didn’t matter either way. Their friendship was good and Seb didn’t want anything to ruin that. At least, that’s how he felt until he met Cooper’s girlfriend, Sally.

Sally was beautiful, blonde and tall. Her eyes were the color of honey and her lips plump and pink. She was kind enough, always starting conversations with Seb, trying to get to know him. There was always that angry creature inside of Sebastian’s stomach, though, that lashed out when he saw the way she looked at Cooper and the way he looked at her, his hand on her thigh. He was always touching her in some way or another.

It made him cringe and ache inside.

Coop just thought Sebastian wasn’t big on opening up to new people. It had taken him a while to learn all the things he loved about Seb, and he never let it worry him when Seb replied with snarky comments. That was just one of the things that made him  _Sebastian_.

…

Cooper and Sally had been each others’ high school sweethearts, so when Cooper called Sebastian crying (Seb only managed to make out, “Sal, she she m-met someone else—”), Sebastian rushed to his apartment. He pulled Cooper onto his lap, rubbing his back and kissing his forehead. It hurt everything inside him to see how utterly broken Cooper was, crying so much he couldn’t breathe and clinging to Seb’s shirt. When Coop calmed down, he was just limp against his lap, his eyes still open but completely empty.

Seb carried him to his bed. When he went to sit on the chair nearby, Cooper looked up at him with his swollen red eyes and without even asking Seb knew what he wanted. He lay down next to his best friend, pulling him close, Cooper turning over so he was the little spoon. He fell asleep almost straight away.

That night Seb realized just how much he loved Cooper, how very much _in love_  he was. He wished could take away all the pain Cooper was feeling and show him just how happy he could make him. Instead he fell asleep, his lips against Cooper’s neck whispering ‘I love you.’

Cooper woke up the next morning, smiling when he saw Sebastian taking up most of the bed and hugging a pillow tightly to his chest. He scooted closer and took the pillow from his arms, holding in a giggle when Seb groaned and then made a happy sigh as Coop took the spot in his arms.

Seb was was still half asleep (or at least he told himself he was), and that gave him an excuse for his next actions. When Cooper took the spot in his arms, Sebastian smiled and kissed him. It was soft and gentle. Cooper didn’t kiss back straight away but it wasn’t long before he eased into it and pushed his lips against Seb’s. It started to get more intense, Sebastian trying to show how much he loved him and Cooper trying to forget about the girl who broke his heart.

They pulled at each others clothes, rutting and panting. Sebastian tugged on Cooper’s hair, and Cooper’s handsran up and down Seb’s back. It didn’t take long before they came, each holding onto the other tight. Seb pulled back looking at Cooper trying to figure out what he was thinking, but Cooper looked sad again.

“That was a mistake…” Cooper breathed out.

…

They didn’t see each other for a couple of months. Cooper called Sebastian but Seb couldn’t handle it yet, he couldn’t talk to him or look at him. The only guy he had truly opened himself up to, the only person he had loved with every fibre of his being, had used him.

Just like everyone else.

…

Cooper stopped trying to call him but he still went to their cafe, hoping Sebastian would turn up.

When he was ready, he did.

Sebastian walked in knowing Cooper would be there—they would always meet up after Sebastian got out of school. He sat down opposite him and before Cooper could start talking Sebastian handed him a letter.

_Coop,_

_I know this is stupid and pathetic but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to actually say this to you so…yeah._

_When I met you, I was in a shit place_ _. I thought I loved your brother but you helped me. You helped me piece myself back together. You became my best friend and someone I knew I could depend on. I’m not sure why I love you so much—honestly, you’re ridiculous and your accents are horrible—but you always make me laugh._

_You make me feel good._

_You have been there for me_ _at times when I have been so close to hurting myself…but you were there. You were always there._

_I guess along the way, I fell in love with you._

_I fell in love with your smile and the way you run your hand through your hair when you_ _’re thinking. I fell in love with the way you bite your lip and the sound of your laugh. I fell in love with your awful acting and how passionate you are. I fell in love with the way you look after me when I’m sick or hurting. I love that you were the first person that has ever seen me cry and held me at night. I love that you hold my hand during scary movies because you know I’m scared but I won’t say anything. I love that you kiss my cheek every time we see each other and the way you hug me. I love your texts and when you call me before you go to sleep._

_I am so hopelessly in love with you._

_I know you don’t love me back, but I needed you to know._

_Sebastian._

Cooper had tears running down his cheeks when he finished reading it.

He didn’t say anything other than, “Sally and I are getting married.”

Sebastian’s face went white. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.

They sat without saying anything else. It must have been a few hours before Sebastian stood up and left.

…

It wasn’t until six years later that Sebastian saw Cooper again.

He was holding a little blonde girl with bright blue eyes, standing next to a tall blonde girl with honey colored eyes.  


End file.
